In the waiting

“In the Waiting”
By Greg Long, Dave Clark, and Don Koch

Pain
the gift nobody longs for, still it comes
and somehow leaves us stronger when it’s gone away
Pray
I try and pray for your will to be done
but I confess it’s never fast enough for me
It seems
the hardest part is waiting on You
when all I really want
is just to see your hand move.

I want a peace beyond my understanding
I want to feel it fall like rain
in the middle of my hurting
I want to feel Your arms as they surround me
and let me know that it’s okay
to be here in this place
resting in the peace that only comes
…in the waiting.

Time
time to let it go and just believe
trusting in what no-one else but you can see
Free
freedom from the fears that close me in
when I can’t get beyond where I have been but then
Again
the silence doesn’t mean that I’m alone
as long as I can hear
that I am still your own.

I want a peace beyond my understanding
I want to feel it fall like rain
in the middle of my hurting
I want to feel Your arms as they surround me
and let me know that it’s okay
to be here in this place
resting in the peace that only comes
…in the waiting.


These words and this piece of music are beautiful…they speak from the heart a cry that I have often felt. The music and the message have carried me through grief after the death of friends, through other dark times, and remind me once again of certain truths now, as I find myself in a time of waiting.
There are a few specific things that I am waiting for, but quite possibly there are other things I am waiting for but am unaware of just yet…things that God will surprise me with some day. What I have been finding in my quiet times lately, is reaffirmation that I am not waiting because I am stuck, I am waiting because there are things I need to learn, to surrender, and to prepare in myself during this time. I need to let go of frustration, disappointment, impatience, and discontent, so that I can be okay with waiting. This waiting place is a good place, because it means that God is getting me ready to discover things -about Him, myself, and others- and do things that will blow my mind.
I heard a phrase once –“expectation of good”- that I was just reminded of; I am waiting in expectation of the good to come, not just making do with a rut that I am stuck in.
A message at the beginning of Lent, about the fruits of the Spirit and their manifestations in our lives, has been convicting me and giving “aha!” moments as well. The fruit of the Spirit of love is one so often talked about and assumed that it can easily be taken for granted. However, I realized that I need to more consciously practice Christ-like love that is selfless and long-suffering: love that is not dependent on circumstances, love that is open enough to take the chance of being hurt, and love that joins with an endless source of love using me as its conduit. The long-suffering part is certainly challenging me right now in several areas of life, but I find it connects back to the waiting time.
The metaphor of gold being refined is often used to describe the purifying process in a Christian’s life. There is another that I think of as well. I once saw blown glass art being made: a blob of glass on the end of a hollow pole was heated and turned numerous times before it was taken out of the fire, had bright colors added to it, was blown, and then spun to suddenly create a piece of art that little resembled its original shape. What was once a nondescript blob was transformed into a colorful vase, orb, or sculpture. Perhaps I am in the fire, or the color is being added…it will be interesting to look back in five years, ten years, or twenty, to see how I have emerged through various waiting times, and to see how this sculpture takes shape.


James 1:2 – Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Isaiah 40:31 – But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 – For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the places from which I sent you into exile.