The gift of today

Today I was blessed with a day off from work, and thus the gift of time at my disposal. This peaceful autumn day has helped me to feel a bit more human, more refreshed, more satisfied that I got to do something I wanted to do before ten o’ clock at night, and that the day has not been taken away from me.
I am once again suffering from respiratory illness, so today’s rest was a welcome reprieve from my shift yesterday, spent standing on hard floors with aching muscles, a sinus headache, a need for Kleenex yet being stranded on a check-stand without it, and wiping down tables while beautiful Fall sunshine streamed through the windows. Today I slept in, dressed in ugly-but-comfortable clothes and running shoes, and went without makeup. I then enjoyed a special treat: a leisurely cup of coffee that brewed while I talked on the phone with my mother and I drank in silence while watching the birds at the birdfeeder outside the window. I have missed the birds; I am glad that birdseed was on sale, so now I have restocked and they are back again. The cat watched them wistfully from the back of the couch, after I caught him stalking the birds by the rhododendron bush and brought him inside.
I went for a walk, and realized how much I have missed the simple pleasures of fresh air, running downhill, looking out over the water, and absorbing the beautiful nuances of the season. People are mowing their grass before the rain returns, someone burns some scrap wood that gives off a spicy-sweet smell, and some folks stand in their driveways to chat with the neighbors. The brilliant colors of autumn are everywhere, in the deep reds and vibrant yellows of maples, apples falling out of trees, pumpkins in the fields, summer flowers putting on a final show, the red rose hips of summer’s wild roses hanging in tangles over fences, and white snow-berries clustered on bare branches.
What a blessing to be surrounded by such beauty, to have the chance to enjoy it! How often I have taken it for granted before. Even washing the dishes -while Dvorak’s 9th Symphony plays on the radio in the background- and planning next week’s lessons become a small joy, as I can do it without a time-frame that obliges me to dash off to another commitment. I feel like a caged bird who has tasted freedom, for one glorious day. I have a pretty good life by most standards, and sometimes wish I could be content with being a working stiff. But days like today remind me of what I am missing and awaken desperation to break free, to do something different, to find my way home to…what? Maybe to a day well-lived, a day that I can look back on with satisfaction and not feel like my efforts are in vain and life has just passed me by a little bit more, denying me the chance to taste autumn in the air and reflect on the simple gifts God gives.
I don’t want to end on a negative note, however. These small splashes of beauty, reflective moments, and valuable time refill the reservoir of hope and give me some strength to pick up again and keep going, like the tree growing out of rocks in the middle of the water. I am on a journey to somewhere, to some place that is just beyond my grasp; I guess I just need to have patience that God will get me there in His good time. After all, today is a gift, that's why we call it "the present."

(This post probably fits the category of “tangential exposition!”)