The restless mind of a working stiff

Poor, neglected blog. My life has become more complicated since I last visited you, and spare time a luxury. I am now "moonlighting" on weekends as a checker at the grocery store, in order to ease the financial stress of the shortfalls from the salary of my "real" job. The phrase "working stiff" is now clearer to me: I work so much that my muscles ache, I suffer from sleep deprivation, and even the voluntary commitments of choirs and exercise begin to feel taxing. In short, there are days when I feel like I am in a near corpse-like state, with rigor mortis of the mind and the body setting in. The thing that saves me, but that also suffers the most, is my restless mind. Opportunities to reflect, to absorb beauty, to read, and to write are very rare, and these constrictions on my personal life chafe at my creative-contemplative nature.
However, I think I can stick with it for a school year, if I have an end in sight to keep working towards. This restlessness is not due just to work, work, work, it stems from something deeper. I love to learn, to discover, to pursue many interests, to find out more about everything. While I certainly specialize in certain areas of study, there are many possibilities that I long to explore. I have talked about this with one of my sisters; we have both noticed this about ourselves. We get bored with routine. Some people will work their whole lives in one career, choose one thing that defines their contribution to society, happily work away, and be content. These are the surgeons, first grade teachers, grocery store managers, and others whom we need and depend on, and who will be doing that same thing until they retire. However, some of us aren't cut out of that cloth. I have a degree and two jobs, but I don't feel like I am at a stopping point where I should rest on my laurels and pass my days forever the same. I have had a chance to experience predictability, a steady (if not weak) paycheck, gain some valuable skills, and make a difference for a little bit of humanity in this small corner of the world. But it is time to move on; there is a silent call, an invisible thread, drawing me toward new discoveries, possibilities not yet explored, skills that can be put to use in different and better ways. If this restlessness is not remedied in the near future, it will decay into discontent, disappointment, and hopelessness, all of which cheat my students of the fully committed teacher they deserve. The gypsy in me says "your work here is nearly done...time to move on."
I may always be this way, because there are so many things that interest me, and different chapters of my life may contain different careers, work, and study. It reminds me of the opening lines of the tv show The Pretender: "There are Pretenders among us...geniuses with the ability to become anyone they want to be..." I am no genius, but I have enough curiousity to take me places. I am not going to let the common expectations of society limit me to a box; the world is a garden beyond the box, and the world is changing; blessed are the flexible for they will not be bent out of shape! Who knows, maybe someday I'll join Cirque du Soleil...
Until circumstances change, I will continue to fight to keep my creative juices from being completely drained along with my energy, but posts may be a bit more sporadic for awhile. Regardless, my restless mind contemplates nature, poetry, people, and the future while my stiff muscles bag groceries and my tired voice coaxes children to behave properly.